If you call now...we'll give you the second tube free! [ 2003/01/05, 7:14 p.m. ]

I have been cooking for almost 30 years and I have never had a problem draining my pasta.

Please.. ..make them stop showing that ridiculous pasta pot commercial. Today I discovered there are several different pasta pot companies. All of the commercials feature mentally challenged cooks slopping water and pasta products about their kitchens. My favorite is the one with the family at the table waiting for the worthless Mrs. to get her shit together and deliver the meal on time. As the husband taps his watch and scowls, the children look on.. weak from hunger. If he were my husband he'd be nursing a set of scalded testicles as I demonstrated my impeccable pasta draining skills onto his lap.

Why is that fat guy screaming about the orange cleaner? Why is he cleaning things that are only smeared with mud?

Sure, sliding that 800lb entertainment center is a breeze with those nifty furniture movers.. ..but who broke their back sticking them underneath it?

If those space saving vacuum bags are great to take on vacations.. ..how do you suck the air out them to take them home? Ask to borrow the hotel maid's vacuum? I love that one..I wonder how many stupid people actually got somewhere before they realized they couldn't stuff everything back in to get it home?

And Anne Murray..my god she's had so many face lifts she's singing out of the back of her head.

Anyway.. ..I've had a worthless day, the plans to see Chicago fell through and I struggled to suppress the urge to tell a few people off. When friendships aren't reciprocated, there's no point in continuing the charade. At least I know I tried.

Fuck em.

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