This entry took 4 hours, 23 minutes. [ April 08, 2003, 8:53 p.m. ]

We seriously need some sun here.. ..the cold rain/sleet/snow is getting on my nerves. At least we didnít get the 6-8Ē of snow forecast.

I had a dirty kitchen related meltdown Sunday morning. Complete with name calling, foot stomping and finger pointing. I think I am having my period. Thereís nothing worse than an old queen on his period.

And now itís dark when I get up in the morning again..and cold. Those two words do not go well with ďwakingĒ you know what I mean? Itís a total mind fuck. I tell myself.. ďOK..itís 11pm which is really 10pm which means if I go to sleep RIGHT NOW I will get 7 hours of sleep and get up by 6am which is really 5.. .. ..Ē

Sleep disorders suck.. ..big time..

I know I am still sleeping better than before. As long as I stick to a routine. A very boring routine. Naps are totally out of the question. Canít do it. Talk about waking up confused.

Itís a whole different world after 10pm. A world I donít even know anymore. I think that was part of my whole meltdown. Cabin fever and boredom. I want to live! But going out is tedious. The smoke, I canít drink, the music is wretched..the excuses go on and on. I donít really like talking to people either..I guess thatís a big part of it. Am I pathetic?

I was going to write a bit about my ideas for a garden but then I remember this diary I read a few times until I realized it was some crazy guy writing about how he was going to landscape the houses he never bought. So I think Iíll just wait until I have something to show for it.

Now Playing: "Welcome to the World" Mama Cass

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