Michigan sucks [ May 06, 2003, 9:13 p.m. ]

The tree man said our ash tree is not in good shape. That makes me sad. Hopefully it doesn’t have that ash borer thing that those dirty pigs in Michigan gave our trees here in Ohio.

I have enough reasons to dislike Michigan.

Michigan drivers are insane. Nine times out of ten, the car riding your ass on the expressway has Michigan plates.

My only speeding ticket ever..at the age of 37. Michigan. I was just trying to keep up with everyone else. (87 in a 70). But the cop was “nice” and wrote the ticket so I wouldn’t pay a higher fine. And then he took my driver’s license. $115 later I got it back. He wasn’t even cute.

The Detroit airport? Twelve hours of mass confusion and panic.

When I first started driving myself around Toledo, I can’t tell you how many times I got lost and ended up in Michigan. Sometimes you’d see the big “WELCOME TO MICHIGAN” sign taunting you.. ..other times you’d slip in a side street and not notice till they charged you 10 cents to keep the can your Coke came in.

We did get Madonna, Motown, Zingermann’s and Michigan cherries but that’s no excuse to tailgate me for 20 miles.

Ugh.. ..I just checked the progress of the tree guy. I feel sick. I know it needs to be done but I’m going to have to adjust. Hopefully he can save some of them.

I need to go now.

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