I smell..really I do [ June 22, 2003, 7:11 p.m. ]

I pride myself on my enticing aroma despite being chronically sweaty.

Today is not the day to be proud. I worked damn hard this morning and one little job led to another until I realized I hadnít showered in nearly 19 sweaty hours.

Iím a dirty pig and itís 83 degrees here.

The worst part is.. ..(and Iím sure this will horrify my fellow homosexuals), I went out in public looking a mess. I didnít realize how bad it was till I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror..blah.

Actually ..I go out looking like a slob most of the time so I donít even know why I am pretending I donít. I guess itís more accurate to say today was much worse than usual. I was weeding, digging, watering, cleaning my room and making marinara when I suddenly remembered I still needed to H.J. a birthday gift. So I jumped in the car and off I went. Then I realized I was wearing my ďworking in the yardĒ outfit.

OK..so no random strangers invited me back to their house for sex. Come to think of it..thatís never happened to me (except at Hooterville.)

And I must confess I bought ďitĒ yesterday. I didnít plan on it but I went to Target to look at blankets and there ďitĒ was.. ..$16.97. My plan was to get it from the library but their freakin website had been down all day and I couldnít request it. So now I own it. And of course.. ..you canít just own #5 in the series without owning the rest. And of course..I have this thing about buying only first editions. So Iím going to scour the used bookstores..I am NOT buying them new. (And let me just tell you..I was hooked at the end of the first chapter.)

Ok..I have to make my bed. There is nothing more tragic than getting ready to crawl into bed when you realize you never finished making it. Whenever I see a bare mattress I always think of those pics (and you local boys know exactly what I am talking about) and that image is enough to keep me up all night.

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