Nipple shields and other national tragedies [ February 07, 2004, 9:59 a.m. ]

Well I missed the latest national scandal.

I was horrified to hear that Justin Timberlake had ejaculated on Janet Jacksonís blue Gap dress during the halftime show of the Super Bowl.

I turned on the morning news program (to watch the traffic report) and was treated to 15 slow-mo replays of the dirty deed. Then just to prove how far our standards have sunk, they threw in a few replays of the Britney/Madonna lesbian orgy. How horrible for this to happen when children are watching. Of course, discussion of lesbian kisses and nipple shields are perfectly appropriate breakfast conversations.

Honestly, if the worst thing your kid sees in his life is Janet Jacksonís tit, heís a daaaaamn lucky kid. The same people who complained about it probably finished off another 12 pack, smoked 2 packs of cigs, flipped the channel to Jerry Springer for some good oíĒ fashioned entertainment with the kids.

Snow is forecast today so that means we will have warm temps and sunny skies. In the past 2 weeks the local weathercasters have been hysterical about 4 major winter storms (SIGNIFICANT ICING! DRIFTING AND BLOWING SNOW! IF YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE YOU WILL DIE!!!) that have produced snow flurries and little else. Fucktards.

I have a dilemma. I am on call until tomorrow morning. I have a shitload of paperwork to do. The house needs cleaned and and I have to search for my checkbook. The smart thing would be to do these things today while I am stuck at home. However, part of me feels I deserve Saturday off from the unpleasantness of adulthood because itís well.. .. .. ..Saturday. Then tomorrow I wonít want to do anything because itís Sunday. Blah.

Yup, itís a beautiful day. Time for my walk.

Now Playing: "Putting it Together" Barbra (shut it)

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