Fake Plastic Smiles [ 2003/02/26, 8:41 p.m. ]


There is a political fundraiser going on in the house tonight. R. and I were not hosting, we are just providing the environment. The host assured us we would not have any responsibility whatsoever, no food prep, no cleaning and no entertaining. Just the minor inconvenience of not being able to freely roam the house tonight. We planned to go to dinner to avoid the entire thing. The host had it all under control.

Then the host had a family emergency and R. and I became the hosts by default (without credit of course.) That meant taking a day off of work to clean the place top to bottom (because God forbid the host do anything in advance.) I'm a clean freak but it's a losing battle here.

I am not comfortable. I don't know any of these people. These people are snobs. I don't like them commenting about MY cat needing his eyes cleaned or digging thru my cupboards in search of a different glass. I want to watch "30 Minute Meals" in my jammies. I want to dig freely at my testicles while lounging on the couch. I want to eat something other than the shit they are calling food.. ..or at least eat the shit without crawling over 40 elitist snobs who are looking at me like I just pulled my pants down and defecated on the floor.

Sweet jesus.. ..there are men in suits everywhere.. ..

Well.. ..time to count the silver.. ..


Oh my God..is that Jim Traficant? No..wait..he's in prison.. .. ..


There is a man wearing plaid pants.. ..plaid! And I just removed someone's wet glass from the black lacquered liquor cabinet. Fucking savages!


I found the spiked punch.. ..things are looking up.


They are gone.. ..and damn lucky they got out of here before The West Wing started or I'd be parking myself between the woman with the bad hat and the geek with white socks and black shoes.

Now Playing: Gossip Folks-Missy Elliot

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