Nodding [ 2003/03/08, 12:35 a.m. ]

Thursday morning on my way to the car I slipped and fell.

Actually there was no slipping involved. All of a sudden I realized I was looking up at the world.. ..then my head went "BONK" on the sidewalk.

My first thought was "I hope nobody saw me." My second thought was "ouch." And my third thought was to swear profusely and say all sort of terrible things about one's Mother, intercourse, fellatio and the male offspring of the family dog.

I crawled into the house.. I was changing my snow covered clothes I saw my flannels laying on my bed. That's all it took. I put them on..called into work and spent the rest of the day limping around the house.

Today my neck and arm hurts. Mostly my neck and the muscles that make you nod. I discovered I do A LOT of nodding at work. A nod is used to indicate you are listening but can also used when you aren't listening and realize your client expects you to do something.

A nod says: "I care..please go on with the excruciatingly painful details of your sad sad life!"

A nod says: "Oh yes let's hear about the time your Father yelled at you for the billionth time!"

A nod says: "Yes please tell me again that you are going to make changes to improve your life when we both know you are full of shit and are comfortable being miserable."

Obviously, I practice what we call "Severe Reality Orientation Therapy." (telling it like it is). That's different than "bus therapy" (loading them on a bus and sending them to another county) and "2x4 therapy" (beating them senseless with a board.)

Ugh..why am I writing about work? I feel like Patrick Starfish wasting his dream on a stupid 25 cent horse ride.

I got the Peggy Lee boxed set from the library. It's dreamy. I must own it.

I had every intention of drinking wine tonight and getting sloppy. But the stupid Vioxx feels like it's eaten a hole in my stomach and wine would have caused terrible heartburn. I had a Pepsi Blue and Triscuits for dinner.

I still had heartburn.

I was driving thru a parking lot today and couldn’t see because of a huge pile of snow. I started to drive into the lane when I saw there was a car. She slammed on her brakes and started screaming at me. We didn't even come close to hitting each other but she freaked out on me.

I smiled and gave her the double bird.

Stupid bitch.

It was the best I'd felt all day.

Now Playing: I'll Be Around-Peggy Lee

last - next