Please Don't Eat the Daisies [ August 17, 2004, 7:24 p.m. ]

The next time there is a presidential election.. ..if Ohio is considered a “battleground” state.. ..I swear I am moving.

Every other TV commercial is a fricken campaign ad. And we have over 2 months to go. Ugh. I’ll gladly trade one campaign ad for 2 tampon commercials.. ..

R. bought me an Ohio wildflowers book and I’ve been brushing up on my botany. While reading I learned that 2 wildflowers are nearly identical. One is highly poisonous..the other is not. Queen Anne’s lace is not poisonous.. ..wild hemlock is. So this weekend I set out to figure out which is which. This is a field full of poison.

There’s a hell of a lot more hemlock than Anne in this area. My sister and I used to play with these..our fields are full of them. Sometimes I’m not sure how I survived childhood..playing with poison plants..walking on the frozen river.. ..playing on the railroad overpass.. Mother would shit if she knew these things.

I’m addicted to “Things I Hate About You” on Bravo. Whoever came up with the idea of filming a couple’s annoying habits and shaming them on national television deserves an Emmy. I’ve already started planning where the cameras will be placed in my house.

We decided to paint the bathroom. I’m going to try to make little curtain things to hide the pipes under the vanity. I can’t even sew on a button. This should be interesting.

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